• Bethany Spiby

Finding purpose & value...

"Hi Beth. Huge fan and nice to see this side of you. I find life meaningless, mundane and boring. A long movie that is taking too long to end. It's not about hobbies, i don't know what it's about. It's all just worthless. Anon."

First of all, prepare yourself for a LONG ASS answer because there are so many techniques to put in place to begin to see the beautiful side in life again. Also, thank you for trusting me with your problem and i am more than happy to help you swiftly move in a more positive direction. I can probably relate to this more than you think as i believe that stagnancy, boredom, and the feeling of life being repetitive, overshadows every single individual at some point in life. Personally for me, that exact feeling of my existence being mundane is what sent me into a very dark place in my life. I spent every single day yearning for something more to happen and for some change to come. In fact, i spent so much of my time doing this, that i forgot to LIVE. i forgot about the present moment. I was battling with that really little, really annoying voice in my head so much, that i allowed that to cloud my whole entire life and i forgot to fucking breathe. When us humans get into a habit of thinking too much (and i mean thinking about anything and everything. You are in the supermarket buying this afternoons lunch, whilst thinking about what you're going to be eating for tea that evening. You walk past someone on the zebra crossing and you're thinking about how much you dislike that hairstyle. You cross the dog in the street and think about how cute it is and how you wish you could afford to own a dog. You are thinking about if you should call your parents or can you really be bothered with that type of conversation today!?) Our minds NEVER switch off. And this can be really dangerous if we allow it to consume us. This is why it's extremely important to practice mindfulness. So, that would briskly brings us to my first piece of advice.

Become an observer...

When your mind conjures up a negative or draining thought in your mind. Just stop. Rather than becoming that thought, become an observer of that thought. Make yourself aware that you just had that thought, and then make a conscious effort to alter it. For example; Your mind says "I can't be bothered getting out of bed today just to lead this boring life, it needs to change." Now stop. Observe. Change. Now your next thought should be. "I am grateful that i have this life to get out of bed for and i am excited for a productive day ahead." EASY. Now, if you do that every single time you have a negative thought, not only are you training your brain to stop having those thoughts, you are also making a responsive effort to train your brain to instantly think positive. Because the more positive thoughts that you force upon yourself, the more likely that them positive thoughts are going to become a permanent fixture in your brain. Fake it till you make it.

My biggest piece of advice to feeling stagnant in life is this; LOOK AROUND YOU. Please, just look around you. Life is so magical. If you walk from one side of the road to the next, and you really look deeply into what you can see, it's astonishing. I look around and all i see is miracles. Life is full of miracles. You are so lucky to be here and to be healthy. You have what a large portion of the world doesn't have: whether it's your health; a meal to eat at tea time; an outfit to put on; a roof over your head; a fireplace to sit in front of on them cold days. These things might seem minor to you, because they are easy accessible and you're so used to having them, you've forgot to appreciate them, but not everyone is as lucky as you. Most people look but they do not see. Go outside and SEE. If you was to take some time to look at the trees, the birds, the bees, the sky, the clouds... Breathe in some fresh air and really understand the beauty of life. Begin to express gratitude for the small things, and watch them come into your fruition on a larger scale. Start to say thank you for the things that you DO have rather than focussing on the things that you don't have. Don't compare yourself to other people, because you're not living their life. You are living your life, and you only get one of them. So please don't take it for granted. Therefore, my second piece of advice is to start looking at life through a fresh set of eyes. Start really LOOKING. And enjoying. Appreciating. Because once you learn to appreciate things around you, you'll start to feel differently from within. That's when life can begin again for you...

You feel like you are in a film that is taking too long to end?! First of all, how lucky are you to be the main character in a film? Second of all, CHANGE THE PLOT. Yes, i suppose it's easier said than done, but you have the power, you have the ability, you have everything it takes to be able to change the outcome of your path. My upmost instruction would be to sit down with a piece of paper, a pen, and your thoughts. Start from scratch. What do you want to do in life? Who do you want to be? Get to know yourself on a substantial scale. It's funny, most people are living their own lives, but don't really know WHO they are! That's the key to your progression in life. Get to know yourself. Goals? Aims? Desires? The world is your oyster and you have the tools to get yourself out of this uninterested hole, get some enthusiasm back for yourself and fall in love with yourself. Once you have established what kind of person you want to be, and what you want to do next, then put that biro down and GO DO IT! Stop being lazy and feeling sorry for yourself, and start being active!

Life is never motionless, it's constantly on the move, and sometimes we just have to be more vigilant and ready for the change to occur. If you are willing to move along with life, then you will never be left behind. Start to see the beautiful side of life, and you will never have to spend another day being "bored" ever again!

BS xoxo

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