• Bethany Spiby

How to move on...

Updated: Dec 3, 2018

Can you help with any advice on how to combat being alone and - importantly - where do i start to begin the process of moving on? I really, really would like to meet someone 'normal,' I've no idea mentally how to move on and do this?

Getting over someone you were once infatuated with, and moving forward in life as a solo individual can be the most formidable task us humans have to go through. Sharing so many memories with a person; completely putting your guard down and allowing yourself to be vulnerable to another by letting them learn every single iota of your being, spending every waking moment with someone you chose to, and then having that taken away from you, no matter what the circumstance, it's heartbreaking.

Every single person that we come in contact with in life is a blessing or a lesson. In fact, even the woman behind the till that you told to keep the change; and the bus driver that you politely thanked as you stepped off the public transport; and the homeless man that you gave the other half of your ham and cheese toastie to at the crack of dawn this morning... Even those people enter into our circumference for a reason. The reason isn't always necessarily life changing or even noticeable but i can assure you, there is always one. The small interactions sometimes make the biggest impact. It's an exchange of energy. Have you ever been having a down day, minding your own business and a stranger approaches you and compliments you? Have you ever been feeling sad or alone and then you bump into an old school friend whom brightens your mood? These minor interactions are the universes way of reminding you that you matter; you are on the right path in life; everything is going to be ok; or simply that the divine is on your side. Whatever the message, there is always one to be located. (If you allow your eyes to truly see) Furthermore, if we begin to really cherish these small encounters, and use them as a tool to spread positivity, and become the stranger that dishes out those compliments to people, or become the person to brighten someone else's mood, then the REAL relationships in your life will flourish. So, there you have my first piece of advice... Be a good person on a day to day basis, and shine some positive light in the direction of your peers, acquaintances, friends, children, parents and strangers, and allow you to attract beautiful and worthwhile relationships into your life.

The process to meeting your soulmate, your life partner, or simply just the one for right now, really does start with YOU. It begins within. Relationships we hold in this lifetime are mirror reflections of ourselves whether we understand that or not. Our subconscious mind often holds on to emotions with connotations of negativity, angst and fear due to situations we have been succumbed to in our past. Although we tend to believe that we have got over these feelings because they have been pushed to the back of our mind and we have made a conscious effort to 'forget' about them, in fact they are circulating within us and becoming more overpowering then they originally were. These emotions and feelings will often surface when they have been triggered by a psychical object that reminds us of the past situation where these particular emotions primitively came from. This is also why you will find similar situations recycling themselves into your life...(For example, do all your relationships end because you are always overly jealous and you find it hard to suppress them emotions, or do you always end up leaving a particular job because of work colleagues whom have a tendency to push you out.) Your subsconcious is attracting it due to the vibrational frequency and energy levels you are providing to the universe. Therefore, in order for you to attract another beautiful soul into your life, you need to:

1. Truly believe that you are also a beautiful soul.

2. Let go of all them emotions that you may or may not believe to by brewing in your system.

How to let go...

Now, don't be surprised if you have read this piece of advice in one of my blogs before, but it is an extremely important practice that really reaps results if you can master the task. In concurrence, it is a technique that is beneficial to everyone, and if it is not done it can cause many issues and negative lessons to be magnetised into your circumference.

1. You need to really take yourself back to the root of the problem. On most occasion, it is an emotion or a scenario that has stemmed from your childhood. As babies, we learn whatever we are taught. We grow up being vulnerable and echoing our surroundings because we don't know how to differentiate the bad and the good, hence the fact that we replicate the actions of those around us. Consequently, we go through these lessons in life but unfortunately the majority of the human kind don't envision them as lessons. They use the "woe is me approach," and then expect negatively charged situations to occur. And what you expect... you receive. So, you need to go back to the root of the problem. Were you brought up in a household where your parents argued all the time? Were you brought up with older siblings whom treated you as an inferior? Were you brought up to believe that you were worthless by some high school kids dealing with their own insecurities and relaying them on to you? All these hardships in life should be looked at as lessons that we need to learn to make us stronger; to prepare us for the future; and to realise what we will not tolerate! So, take yourself back to the ROOT and realise why you are holding these negative emotions captive.

2. Now you have understood where these feelings stemmed from, it's time to release the baggage. This is going to act as a mental cleanse in order for you to move forward in life with a fresh approach. All you have to do, is allow yourself to feel these emotions for the very last time. Imagine you have been summoned into this situation for one last time. The thought may be scary because you are allowing yourself to be hurt, but know that this temporary pain is going to be the key to unlocking eternal joy. Allow yourself to feel. Allow yourself to be. Do you need to cry? Cry. Do you feel the need to scream with anger remembering the trauma that you had to experience? Scream with anger. Act out and do whatever it takes to feel the upmost negative emotion that you have been holding in for all these years, months, weeks, decades, minutes... The sooner you submit to these emotions, the sooner you will learn the lesson that the universe is teaching you, and the sooner you can move on with a fresh pair of eyes. You will unblock and release the negative flow of energy that has been held hostage for so long. You should now feel like a weight has been lifted. Embrace the lift.

To combat being alone is to fall in love with thy self.

Here, i am going to teach you some techniques to train your brain and allow your default emotion to be love, joy, positivity, pride and appreciation. Not only for yourself, but for everything: The psychical world and the people whom you share your existence with; the non physical plane including your own personal guardian angel; even the smallest objects that you come into contact with on a daily basis. You heart will be so full of love that your energy flow will never be blocked again. These tasks will help you move forward alone, ultimately attracting someone else into your life.

Every morning when you look in the mirror, recite three things that you adore about yourself. This doesn't have to be aesthetic appreciation because remember that beauty comes from within. The glow of your skin; the shine in your hair; the radiance of your smile... These all stem from a pure heart. Hone in on your favourite characteristics about yourself, and momentarily forget the factors that you dislike. (Soon these will vanish as you learn to love every iota of your being.) Once you have recited those things that you really love about yourself, ensure that you match the emotions to the thoughts. You should be feeling joyous, happy and overwhelmed because you bring so much to this Earth. This task should be enjoyable. You are something that you should embrace, nurture, cherish and LOVE. So, these simple steps will provide the first milestones for you to do exactly that.

Furthermore, if you are finding it unmanageable because you aren't usually one to compliment yourself... Then spread that love on to other people. Tell someone she looks gorgeous today or smile at a stranger in the street. A smile could really alter someones day without you even realising it. A smile can do that. A smile.

Create a love list...

A love list is simply a tool in which you can use to pin point exactly what you want in a relationship. You can identify the qualities of someone, and the exact traits in which you desire. Be as accurate as possible. Anything from eye colour, to height, to the sound of their laughter, to their level of intellect. The more precise the better, because the universe makes no mistakes. If you carry this task out correctly, you will see the results. All you have to do is specify exactly what you want in a life partner, give your order out in to the universe, let your emotions GO, and then patiently wait.

In conclusion, the key to attracting a partner into your life is to love and nurture yourself as you would do to the love of your life. Express that gratitude. Once you have unlocked self love, the universe will provide you with your next blessing. You may not be ready yet, but when you are whole and when you are pure: someone whole and pure will be on their way.

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