• Bethany Spiby

This too, shall pass.

Life is fucking hard sometimes. I know it is. I’ve been there. In essence, I’m still there. We all are. We have to be. Life is hard for us all, some more than others I understand, some of us are lucky, and some… not so much. I get it, you’re sad and think, what’s the point? What is the point? In being so low, that you can’t seem to stand up, unless it’s to dry your tears. I get it. Is the pain worth it? To get to the highs, and feel like you’re forever soaring, even if it’s only for one small moment of contentement. Is it worth going through years of tears just to find what it’s like to smile, for one iota of a second? I’m asking you. Is it worth it? If the answer is no, then why are you still trying?

Thats because, the answer is always yes. That hug in your lovers arms, is worth the longevity of being apart. That deserving mark on your paper, is always worth the gruelling years of revision. The excitable hello of your dog, is definitely worth the long day at work. And I’m telling you, the food… is always worth the wait. The laughter, is always worth the tears, but without them, laughter wouldn’t even be cherished the same, would it?

Life would be easier if we didn’t have to be in pain, but would it be worth it, all the same?

For me, if we were all goody two shoes and happy go luckies, what is there to enjoy? Because when we get dashed head first, into that crumbling building of fire and fear, and we do all we can to make it out of the other side, scarred but stronger, scarred but alive, that’s when we get to appreciate the open fresh air on the other side of the window. If we were always stood alongside the wind, would we even appreciate how she brushes us through our hair? Would we even notice how she whistles her way past us, embracing our essence? Scars, yes, lessons, too.

How many things have you been through, which have dampened your spirit and felt like it had pushed you, so aggressively on the chest, three steps back to the progress you thought you made? But how many times, have you learnt a lesson through that push? And how many times were you able to pull yourself fourth? With every trepidation and every trauma, comes a lesson and a pat on the back. With every tear, comes a watermark of strength. With every vulnerable move, comes a gracious two step with the universe. With every chapter closed, comes an open set of eyes.

Too many eyes of too many humans are wide open, but unable to see their true reflection. Too many eyes of too many humans, look, but they do not see. They are devoured in thoughts, consumed by the past and present, unaware of the beauty that lies before their very feet. Pain is needed, but when you find the same pain, the same wavelength pain, being recycled, reused, not quite reduced, just realise that it’s suffering caused by the ego, and you can stop the pattern. When you grow up, establishing a life around a certain theme of toxicity, notice how your future relationships, build foundations on that same calibre of negativity. It’s because you haven’t healed. You haven’t allowed your inner child to forgive the life that they once knew. So you recycle. And not the type of recycling that’s good for the planet. You recycle your pessimistic father into a mould of your boyfriend, and your boisterous mother now looks at you through the eyes of your colleague. And your bosses seem to all act the same, but with four different faces, and four different ties.

To heal, you must open yourself up to the process. Exclaim that you are ready to let go, to move on, to create new patterns, and let old ones fall away. Let the pain arise. Why are we so scared to feel hurt? It’s an emotion that’s needed, as much as happiness. Where is the rule book that says: honour your greatness, and ignore your heartbreak? Enjoy your gratitude, avoid your suffering?

We need all these emotions, to fully embrace our human experience. By pushing what you label negative emotions away, you set yourself up for a deeper circulation of pain at the end of a never ending road. A bleak path or screaming emotions, just yelling, feel me and I’ll leave, let me in and I’ll let you go. But you never know this, because they can’t be heard. Your heart is closed off from pain, and your ears are overpowered by emptiness.

Next time an emotion swings your way, let it flow. Invite it in and sit with it. The fact that you’ve made a conscious decision, to fully embrace this feeling, makes it easier. It makes the suffering feel safe, and trust me, this too… Shall pass.

When life gets hard, and you think.. what’s the point?

The point is, your parents love you and they need you here; your soul mate is out there, searching for your existence waiting for your heart to magnetise them in. Food, is always a good point. Think of your favourite menu, and all those delicious choices. Smiles from a stranger, when they didn’t even realise you were having a bad day. Early finishes at work, unexpectedly. Laughter with your friends, and laughter bringing unknown people together. Eye contact, smile contact. New opportunities. Walking through nature, enhancing your connection with the beauty that surrounds you. Compliments. Hand shakes with your interviewer, when you know you smashed the interview. Coffee. Mornings without an alarm. Friends. Lovers. Pets. Sunshine. Rain.

There are so many points, to work through the pain, and if you can’t find one, make one.

Open your eyes, and finally… see.

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